ALONE BUT NOT LONELY: Cultivate inner harmony

October 26, 2014

Alone but Not Lonely

“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the world.” ~Marcus Aurelius

For me, alone time is essential. It’s as important as eating and breathing. Having moved to the other side of the world away from my regular support and social system has cultivated this need even more strongly than before. Right now developing a strong internal relationship is key to allowing me time to wind down, reflect, relax, and be me without any external influences or interruptions.


I never used to understand the need for alone time and thought that people who spent time alone must have been weird or simply had no friends. Back then I relied on my happiness, my validation, and my sense of self to come from external sources – from other people and things – leading to way too many fluctuations in my inner harmony and happiness and making me a very emotionally unstable person. From this I learnt it was necessary to finally find peace within myself, and my top 5 reasons to seek solitude and comfort from within are:

  1. Time alone allows you to connect with who you REALLY are. When you are alone you have no-one else to influence your actions. You have to be with you, your thoughts, and you become your source of amusement. You become comfortable with your choices and you can begin to shine with your own inner radiance. Plus, it allows you to identify yourself as an individual rather than as a mother, sister, brother, husband, wife, partner. You are you. Minus the labels. Minus the need for validation from others.
  2. It allows you to appreciate the quality connections you have with others. Alone time allows you to reflect on the people you surround yourself with and how damn happy you are to have them in your life. We all need alone time.
  3. You are an independent, beautiful, INDIVIDUAL. Time alone helps you realize your good qualities, and allows you to define yourself without the labels of others. See reason number one, read it over again.
  4. It allows you to self-reflect. Feeling down? Worrying about work? Worrying about how you can fix something in your relationships? Worrying about why you’re worrying? I hear you. Allow yourself to sit with your emotions. Feel them. Are they as intense as you really were letting them be? Then try and see things from other perspectives. Then ask yourself, is it really as bad as I thought it was?
  5. It allows you to time to dream. It also allows you real time to set goals and think big. Some of our greatest thoughts and plans come when we least expect it.

    Got no clue what to do in your own time? I’ve got a couple suggestions to stop you sitting in the corner twiddling your fingers to help you make the most of your time: Meditate. Exercise. Get out and enjoy mother nature. Notice your surroundings – admire them. Sing, dance, carry on as if no one is watching (because they aren’t). Go out for a meal or to a movie on your own. Be okay with this. Read a book and truly indulge in this. Think about life’s big questions – go on try figure the stuff out that’s been bugging you! Let go of your FOMO (fear of missing out) – you are not missing out. You are cultivating a deep and important relationship. The one with yourself. Everyone else who isn’t doing what you’re doing is missing out. Not you. You’re making the most of it. Go you! Keep up the good work

Got a comment? I love hearing your thoughts and suggestions so pop one below.

With Love,





4 thoughts on “ALONE BUT NOT LONELY: Cultivate inner harmony

  1. Bethan

    So many people underestimate (or totally ignore) the need for time with yourself, when actually they are missing out on the most important relationship! How are you meant to work out what you want from life and how you want to live if you don’t know yourself? Plus you need to be attuned to your ‘self’ to maximise your health. Sadly society telling us we need to be social and have FOMO means that alone time is often the first thing to go from busy people’s lives. Love this post, such a great reminder! x